The Longest Table: Finding Connection in Unexpected Places

Wandering around Manhattan, I stumbled upon a street that seemed to go on forever, filled with tables and chairs. People were everywhere, chatting and laughing under the clear blue sky. The tables were loaded with delicious dishes, and the whole scene was buzzing with life.

A sign nearby read, “Welcome to the Longest Table.” This free community event is all about bringing people together for a shared meal and conversation. Over food, strangers become friends, and simple moments of joy and connection are born. October 2024 marked the third year of this heartwarming event in NYC. Other cities are catching on, with Cloverdale, CA, Kansas City, and Oklahoma City joining in. Even Paris, France, hosted their first Longest Table in September. Clearly, the need for connection is universal.

Loneliness seems to be an epidemic these days, if the slew of recent articles is anything to go by. Why is it so hard to make meaningful connections? Are we really that busy? Is the Seattle Freeze a real thing? Or are we just too scared of rejection? Maybe it's all of the above.

Traveling provokes me to think about how community is developed and sustained. On a river cruise with fewer than 160 passengers, one gets to know people. Shared experiences make it easy to start conversations that can lead to learning about each other’s lives. When I travel alone, it feels freeing to chat with strangers. Without even exchanging names, I've learned about amazing personal stories, found fantastic restaurants, and got tips for places to retire. Some connections last beyond the trip, while others are just cherished memories. Every interaction enriches my world.

I love watching how people interact in new places. In France, I noticed groups of men relaxing together over coffee, lunch, or a glass of wine. Male groups of all ages walked along the river even in the middle of the day. I rarely see this type of male comraderies in the U.S. on a weekday. Sure, it happens at breweries on weekends, but it’s usually families or couples. I don’t know many American men with a circle of friends they see regularly. Perhaps it’s the shorter workweeks in France or the cultural norm of sitting down to enjoy a meal instead of eating on the go. You can often spot an American in France by their habit of eating while walking and carrying coffee instead of sitting down to savor it. I wonder what they think of our giant Stanley cups!

When my family visited Germany several years ago, we fell in love with the biergartens. We’d sit down with a deck of cards, order some food and drinks, and relax as a family. There was never a feeling of being rushed. It was often a challenge to get the check when we were ready to leave. Every meal was relaxed, and families around us seemed to enjoy the same atmosphere. Large groups were common, especially in the summer, when we often chose to eat outside. Even the small children seemed relaxed and part of the conversation. I treasured that time as a family. Back home, we kept the tradition of taking a deck of cards to a brewery and spending a few hours together. It was easy and cost-effective because we could bring our own snacks and games while having family time without the distractions of home.

Connection really just needs time and attention. We get so caught up in our frantic pace that it’s hard to remember to breathe, let alone check in on a friend or neighbor. I adore our neighbors here in Kirkland, but it’s so easy to become disconnected. With the short and dark winter days upon us, I think it’s time to set a long table and fill the house with people, light, and connection. What about you? Comment and tell me how you build and sustain connections.